My third child made his arrival in an unexpected fashion after a very difficult pregnancy. The last time I made a post on this site was back in June of 2019 and then I got pregnant in July. My pregnancy came with many aches and pains and caused me to have to put many things on pause. One of which was this mommy blog. Although I had to step away for a while, I couldn’t think of a better reason to do so. Being a mom is my top priority and I was not only a mom to two on this earth, but I was a mom to the one in my womb.

My sweet baby boy Elias made his arrival a couple of months ago, and after a stay in the hospital’s NICU is home with his adoring family. I have been loving on him every chance I get! He is a breathing miracle and my last baby, so I treasure his little life with everything in me.

His name literally means ‘the Lord is my God’. After choosing his name, we saw it everywhere and that confirmed that this was a name approved by God.

To be honest, I am still having a hard time coming to terms with how everything happened. I am so grateful and completely aware of how fortunate we both are to be alive. However, a part of me mourns the idea I had in my mind of what my last pregnancy and birth would look like. I almost didn’t share any of this, but I felt God tugging on my heart to do so. I would be disobedient by not sharing my testimony and do Elias a disservice by not celebrating his miraculous entry into this world. So, this is baby boy’s birth story…

On a Tuesday, I went to my OB appt. and explained to the doctor that I had been feeling unusually bothersome Braxton Hicks contractions that kept me up at night. The doctor put me on a non-stress test for 20 minutes, which revealed the baby was doing fine. However, the minute I stepped into the car I experienced another pretty painful contraction and then I went on to continue getting them all night that night. I only felt comfortable on my hands and knees which is, ironically, the birthing position. I would later find out I was in labor as well. 

By Thursday I felt like I had a bad headache, bad indigestion, severe nausea which turned into vomiting later that night. On two separate occasions that evening I threw up my food and that’s when I realized something was not right.

I called my OB again the next morning and they scheduled me to be seen immediately. After taking my blood pressure (which was high) and finding protein in my urine they sent me to the hospital. At the hospital I was hooked up to a monitor and given an IV just in case I would be staying.

At first they were concerned about baby’s heart rate (it was irregular) and were about to order an ultrasound to check things out. The next thing I know some nurses come in and order me to turn and lay on my left side. A few moments later the doctor bursts in with more people and says I have to have an emergency c-section now. I was resistant and it took me a while to realize this was a life or death situation. This was the very doctor at the group I attended, that I never wanted to give me a c-section . I’ve had a bad experience with her previously, and she was the last person I wanted cutting me open.

They wheeled me down the hall and the anesthesiologist asked me a series of questions. That’s when I found out I would be getting general anesthesia. I didn’t have a choice. They rushed me into the OR and there must have been at least 20 people in there. I could feel them prepping my body and I felt every bit of them inserting my catheter. I stiffened and then I heard someone on my right say “ relax for your baby”. That was all I needed to hear to surrender. My baby needed me. I looked up at the bright fluorescent operating room lights and thought “Jesus, I trust you”. All I could do was surrender and allow God to finish what he started and protect me and this baby.

Aside from my son being born strong, somehow the doctor I had originally scheduled my c-section with miraculously happened to be at the hospital that day. She was not on call, but happened to have a few patients she was doing procedures for at the hospital. She heard the stat call on the hospital PA system and rushed to aid her colleague. When she heard all the details she realized it was me lying on the operating table and stayed to assist during the c-section. So, in a sense, the doctor I wanted to bring my baby into this world was there that day making sure we were okay. I feel like that was God smiling down on me, letting me know everything would be okay. God is so amazing!! I later found out that I not only had preeclampsia, but that my placenta was separating from my uterus. It was a life threatening situation for both Elias and me. We are alive by God’s grace alone!

WATCH THE BIRTH STORY VIDEO HERE

OUR NICU EXPERIENCE

Elias was on oxygen for total of 10 days. He needed lots of help to breathe the first 3 days, but after that only needed a reminder to breathe. They gave him what’s called a nasal cannula, with only a small amount of fluid for the remaining 7 days.

Next, he got his IV removed around that same time. He did, however, continue to get his heel pricked for blood sugar level checks.

After the oxygen was reduced he was moved to the next floor up, where babies are in need of less critical care. The next step was to check his brain for damage. He had a brain ultrasound that revealed his brain was in perfect working order!!! Because of the positive ultrasound results, then came the removal of his tortle (a head pillow used to prevent brain injuries or flat head syndrome by keeping the head midline). A few days later, no more oxygen at all! He was already breathing on his own several days prior.

After going oxygen free they removed his feeding tube from his mouth to his nose to allow him to do things like breast feed, bottle feed and use a pacifier when he was ready. I started sham feeding shortly after that to get him familiar with breastfeeding. Sham feeding is where you place the baby on your breast after you’ve pumped. At that stage, they simply taste the milk and practice latching. Elias did so amazing with that! Soon after, we introduced bottles. He was also on what they call caffeine, to remind him to breathe, and at this point they had stopped giving it to him. He was monitored for a week and did fabulous.
Next, when the nurses noticed he started getting hot in his isolette they popped the top and let him have a go at regulating his own temperature. He never needed the top back down after that. He did need more clothes on when he started eating more because he was using his energy to eat as well. The clothes helped to keep him warm without the help of the heater in the isolette, so that he could continue to gain weight.

Finally, after mom and dad pulled together and devised a plan, Elias’s feeding tube was removed and he was ready to go home a couple of days later. We each took a shift and made sure he got a bottle for every feed. Their policy was that he had to be taking a bottle for every feed and be drinking close to 100% of the bottle. After which they would monitor him for another two days to make sure he did not lose weight. Finally, we would be discharged.

This was the point at which we became frustrated with the NICU. It was so hard to get an answer as to what needed to happen with our baby specifically so that he could be discharged. Then, after we squeezed that answer out of them we had to deal with the nursing staff. With each shift change came a new nurse and with each nurse came a different philosophy. Some nurses believed that if the baby is sleeping you leave them be and just feed them through the feeding tube. Others believed that you offer the baby a bottle every feed and see what the baby does. Many times the nurses became busy and if a baby was sleeping they would not attempt a bottle. Towards the end that’s all that was holding us up and we were the only ones with a sense of urgency for getting our baby home.

By this time we were physically, emotionally, and financially drained. The back and forth took a toll on my body as I was still healing from my c-section. We were starting to notice changes in the kids and hubby and I barely had time to talk to each other . We were determined to get him home as soon as possible, as he was no longer on any machines and just needed to eat and grow. In one day, we were able to get them to remove his tube. I fed him all of his bottles during the day shift and hubby went there during night shift to make sure he got a bottle every feed.

God sent a night shift nurse that hadn’t been there before, and that night, she made the call to remove Elias’s feeding tube. This happened just after my hubby fed him his last bottle for that shift.

A couple of days later Elias was headed home with his family!!

How we survived the NICU…

1. We were present. We were there as much as possible! The hospital room came with a pull-out sofa bed and full bathroom. We used that amenity as much as possible. When we had help right after he was born we were able to leave the kids at home with my mother and stay at the hospital with him together.

When we couldn’t stay overnight we tried staying so that we were there during most of the day shift and right when the night shift started so that we could meet and monitor both nurses.

Nothing replaces your presence. The more you are there, the more of a positive effect it has on your baby’s discharge date.

2. We asked to be assigned a primary nurse for each shift. Whenever these nurses were there they were to have our son. This helped us feel a bit better when we couldn’t be there.

3. We got involved. You are allowed to care for your baby in many ways. It all depends on your baby and how they are doing, but we did whatever was possible for us to do. We held him skin-to-skin, we changed his diapers, took his temperature, fed him (bottle & breast) and gave him his baths. Some nurses are more traditional and will make you feel like you shouldn’t handle your baby as much. (We had a nurse tell us we could only hold the baby once a shift for up to an hour. We later asked that this nurse not care for our baby- you can do that, too). Other nurses will empower you and leave you alone with your baby while only a short distance away in case you need them (that was the case with our primary nurses. They were awesome)! Whatever the case, that is your baby! Don’t let anyone make you feel otherwise! You are allowed to be there and care for your baby. Even when you are unable to hold your baby you can still sing to them, read to them, pray over them, play music for them and just be there. You can even decorate your baby’s room and isolette at some hospitals. Just keep in mind that they tend to move the babies around often, so each time there’s a room change you will have to move your things, too.

4. We asked to view him on the hospital’s iPad when we couldn’t be there. We didn’t use this feature as much as we would have liked, but then again, we were there quite often.

5. We asked a lot of questions! We tried to be there when the doctors were making their rounds so that we could ask them our questions face-to-face. It can be hard to get direct answers from NICU staff but keep asking and make notes. By advocating for our son in this way we were able to find out exactly what needed to happen so that he could go home as soon as possible.

I hope that in sharing my experience you will take something away from it. I hope that in my obedience your life is impacted in a positive way. Thank you for stopping by. I’ll see you in future posts.

xx,

Ker-Leen™