#LeMommyoftheMoment!

Hey ladies! 

I realize that being a mom does not mean you must become fearless; it means you will need to be courageous.

The Bible is full of stories of courageous people, but there is a story of courage that I felt led to share with you. When Moses had reached the point where he could no longer lead the people of Israel to the promised land, he passed the torch to Joshua. He told Joshua, "He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed" (Deut. 31:8). I realize that it was impossible for Joshua not to have those feelings; its just that Moses was motivating him to move forward with confidence. Later on in this story, God also speaks these words to Joshua, "be strong and courageous...I will be with you" (Deut. 31:23). Reading this made me reflect on my story. The moment I stopped operating in fear and began to operate in strength and courage is the moment things started to turn around. I had to draw near to God so that I could develop in these areas. I went from being a victim to being a survivor. I went from being someone who experienced the loss of a baby to someone who had lost a baby and was still an overcomer. 

 Here on LeMomLife™, I want to highlight other moms and moms-to-be who were courageous in the face of many obstacles and heartache. I want to highlight moms who have come out on "the other side", and have a story to share. Today, I share Linda Riley's story with you! 

• Briefly introduce yourself...

My name is Linda Riley. I am 37 years old and married to an amazing man of God. We currently reside in VA due to my husband being in the Navy. I was born in Bronx, NY. I've lived most my life in NY and NJ. I have lived in FL from 2004-2008 then again from 2012-2017. In between those years I was back in NY. My family is from Haiti and we have a strong family. My mother, sister, and grandmother are my strengths (after my husband of course ). Before my husband, they have been with me through many storms. Now, I am in my final class in obtaining my doctorate degree in Education. I am truly excited! Next year, my husband and I embark on a new journey purposed by the Lord. A wellness business to help adolescent girls and women regain their identity. Very excited for this as well! My past traumas have brought me to a place of true victory. 

• Share your pregnancy journey. When did you find out? Had you been trying for a while? 

There was a time this would have been a difficult question to answer. But with God, I have been delivered from the bondage of sorrow and can now share my story with love. The three pregnancy stories I am going to share were all unplanned. They were decisions made as a lost young girl growing in her faith. My first pregnancy was in 2004. I found out I was pregnant because I missed my period. I am always regular so it was an obvious first sign to me. Shockingly, that was my only symptom. My first prenatal visit was when I was about 9 or 10 weeks. This is when I found out the shocking news I was pregnant with twins! My second pregnancy was in 2006, with my daughter Cyria. With her I found out due to a missed period. I was terrified, but this time I was only pregnant with one. In 2012, I experienced my 3rd pregnancy and found out because I had severe bloat at first then a missed period. 

• When did you find out you were having a miscarriage? What was the reason( if you are comfortable sharing that). 

My twin boys were born in 2004. My son Ramelo was born on June 23rd and my son Jaylen was born on June 25th. I was 21 weeks along. Ramelo was born in my bed and Jaylen was born two days later at the hospital. With my first son, I actually was unaware I was having a miscarriage. I was on strict bedrest due to complications beginning around week 16. I thought I needed to use the bathroom and my fiancé at the time helped me with my bed pan. Unfortunately, what I thought was a bowel movement was me delivering my son. I was terrified! He was extremely tiny and I could not bare to look. My fiancé and his family called 911 and they were expecting me to immediately deliver my second son, well, he had other plans. Jaylen did  not descend into my birth canal, but because my boys were identical, the cord which was detached from Ramelo was hanging outside of my cervix still attached to Jaylen and the placenta they shared. Although the doctors were able to push it back in, my uterus was still exposed because my cervix would not close. Due to this I developed an infection which almost killed me. I had to make the most difficult decision of my life to allow the doctors to induce my labor and force me to deliver my remaining son. After he was delivered, they tried to keep him alive but unfortunately his lungs were not strong enough. My daughter was born in 2006. Cyria came into this world on May 5th and I was 37 weeks pregnant. With Cyria the doctors discovered I have a short cervix (this was not discovered with my twins). Due to this, a cerclage was performed in my 12th week of pregnancy. From then on, my pregnancy was smooth and easy going. I knew something was not right about two days after my prenatal appointment in my 36th week, about a week before I delivered Cyria. Her movements were decreasing and when I called my doctor concerned she just told me everything is fine and it is because she is big and has limited space. Well, a few days after that phone call I went into labor. I still felt something was not right. Upon arriving to the hospital the nurse performed an ultrasound and her facial expression said it all. I asked what was the problem and she asked me to wait till my doctor arrived. My doctor arrived a few minutes later, performed another ultrasound and had the same worried expression. Then, she told me my daughter did not have a heart beat. This is when I felt my soul leave my body and my spirit die. I was forced to first have my cerclage removed, then go through labor and deliver of my deceased child. Her cord was wrapped multiple times around her tiny neck. They suspected she passed a few days prior to me going into labor. She was beautiful and I held her for hours. Something I did not get to do with my boys. Finally, my pregnancy in 2012 was a pregnancy where I almost lost my life as well. I was bleeding the entire pregnancy and my doctor could not figure out why. My HCG levels were going up and down. I was approaching my 12th or 13th week when I was sent to the emergency room. They discovered I had an ectopic pregnancy and was not hemorrhaging due to my left fallopian tubes bursting because the baby was too big. This, too, was extremely traumatic. Funny thing is, my ectopic pregnancy was discovered and removed on the 6th year anniversary of the passing of my daughter, May 5th. 

• What are some things you did to cope with your miscarriage? 

Coping with my miscarriages and still birth of my daughter was not easy. I was in a dark place for a long time. I did not watch TV for fear of seeing a baby. I was afraid to go outside for fear of seeing a mother and her child. It was not a way to live. God was repairing me before I knew to even ask for help. I tried to take my own life in 2006 and God saved me. He placed awesome, strong women in my life (mother, sister, grandmother) who helped me in that storm. Then he placed friends who introduced me to salvation. After I was saved in 2007, I finally started to heal. I used exercise and prayer to cope with sadness and depression. I surrendered it all. Faith, family, and hobbies are great recipes for healing. And these are the reasons I was able to stay strong after my loss in 2012. 

• Any advice for mommies who are struggling to cope with the loss of a pregnancy/baby? 

The best advice I can give is, don't be afraid to cry. Don't be afraid to be angry. Allow yourself to go through the stages of grief. Embrace the love and support around you and do not push anyone away. This is what saved me (Divine intervention from the Lord). Most importantly, declare victory over overcoming a moment or moments that made you feel broken. Acknowledge your strength within and realize, your testimony can help someone else with healing. I always tell myself, God's timing is the best time and He will bless me in the right season. This has given me peace. 

Today, Linda is married and currently expecting another baby! Congratulations, Linda!!!! What an amazing testimony of courage and victory! 

*Use the hashtag #lemomlife, or #lemommyofthemoment to be featured on this community of courageous women!